A POWER FROM BEYOND

COVER

2006-05-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

WARNING: some adult content -may offend some readers
(BLOG STILL UNDER ROUGH DRAFT STAGES, SOME CONTENT MAY CHANGE)

Author Amber Red shares her spiritual philosophies and erotic life experiences in her blog "A Power From Beyond" .
Based on a true story that has led her to create her own turn of destiny while dealing with her inner demons. It's up to you to decide what is fact or fiction.

SKIP to prologMY LIFE

OPEN to index

EXIT to back coverMY DESTINY

ENTER MY POETRY

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INDEX

2006-04-06T02:24:00.000-07:00

TO VIEW MY SPIRITUAL THOUGHTS VISIT...

ABOUT ME

PROLOG

PART 1.......A POWER BEYOND OUR CONTROL

PART 2.......THE BEGINNING

PART 3.......INNOCENCE VS. DECEPTION

PART 4.......MY SEXUAL JOURNEY INTO ADULTHOOD (CONAINS SEXUAL CONTENT)

PART 5.....MAKING A DEAL

PART 6.......THE FIRST MEETING

PART 7.......ANOTHER TURN OF DESTINY

PART 8........THE LAST GOODBYE

PART 9....MEETING MY MATCH (CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT)

PART 10......CONNECTING

PART 11......"DON'T FEAR THE REAPER"

ABOUT ME

2006-02-20T22:52:00.000-08:00

I have lived within my soul more then most;

I have stayed in the shadows to observe but was always among the crowd.

I didn’t travel far yet I experienced many.

I lay alone watching around us.

I don’t know a lot about one thing but I know much about many.

I watch and look into the eyes and see deep within, as the eyes are the window to our soul.

I learned the tricks and the irony of life,

The Karma filling the air while blowing from one place to the next.

To the souls you’ve touched on your journeys.

Coming back, as it swirls past you,

once again.

TO prolog

TO: my destinys thoughts

DESTINY AT MY DOORSTEP

2006-02-20T22:07:00.000-08:00

"I saw my destiny come rushing through his eyes, like a desert storm blowing in the night. Fear of the darkness shadowing
my soul, recounting my memories, listening for the answer I’ve been searching for as he whispers it in my ear.
I look in his eyes , within the
depths of his soul. He knows the love I have for him is overwhelming, irresistible.
He sees my fear of losing the future I saw and grins; he knows the hold on me is strong; he knows how to overpower my weakness"

MEETING MY MATCH PART 9

2006-02-05T18:00:00.000-08:00

After he left to start his new job I hated going to work, it wasn't the same. I could feel him within me, smelling the scent of his cologne like he just passed me by, making me look over my shoulder to see if he was there. He never was. A couple of weeks after he left, a note was handed to me, it was from Damian. In it was a personal invitation to come to his house party, he said to bring only myself but my clothing was optional. I will never forget, at that moment, smelling his cologne once again, making me look again over my shoulder.

I was so excited but nervous. I was never nervous attending any party. My whole life was a party. When the night arrived I did not go, I don't know why but something told me to stay home. I spent the night having dinner at my sister's. This night was never planned, I just felt a need to be there.

I couldn't keep a conversation that night without crying. I cried over the recent events that happened in my life. I told her husband I felt my sins that I have commited would make me go to hell. I never knew what came over me that night, why at that time I would feel that about my life. He stood there hugging me, comforting me, telling me not to fear as I was a wonderful person, beautiful and full of love, even though he knew so much of what I had done.

I left thier house soon after as I felt the need to go home. I needed to call Damian, I knew it was late but I felt I needed to talk to him. I got home and pulled out the invitation that had his number on it. I looked at it wondering if I should, feeling timid like a child, as we hardly spoke words since I met him 7 months prior.

I picked up the phone and nervously dialed the number. I thought he would hear the tremble of excitement along with fear in my voice as he answered. His calm soothing voice helped me relax.

I apologized for not making his party but thanked him for the invitation. He told me he was expecting me to come and was disappointed with me, he asked if I wanted to come then but something seemed to stop me. Since time was never an issue with me, I knew that it wasn't the late hours keeping me from going. I could hear his breath on the phone, so faint in the distance. A shiver passed through my body as if someone walked threw me. I could almost feel him breathing on my neck behind me. I was afraid to speak, but I asked if I could take a rain check. A week later I found myself standing on his doorstep.

The night of our first date I went over to his house more nervous then I'd ever been in my life. I had never been drawn to a man so much and for so long. I used to fantasize about this night so much and now that it was here I felt like I couldn't stay in control.

I always knew what made me feel good.
I knew how to tease men with my body and eyes over and over, dripping everywhere, guiding myself, over them, teasing them and holding down their arms. I had incredibly strong legs so I was able to crouch on top, continuing at my pace until they couldn't take it anymore.

If I wasn't ready, I would quickly get off and wrap my mouth around them and gently slow them down. They would be screaming with pleasure to let them have me, I would get back on top and when I felt them explode, I would then release my pleasure, soaking all around.

Most men couldn't believe the sex I could have but sex was my passion. I loved the pleasure that I was able to produce for my body, but would continue to still feel a void inside I couldn't explain.

We sat and drank and talked for along time, it felt like hours and hours until he sat down right beside me gazing into my eyes telling me how beautiful my eyes were and at that moment I leaned over and started kissing those beautiful lips I've wanted to kiss so much for so long.

It was better then I ever imagined, his kiss was unlike any other I had kissed and I had kissed many. I sat on top of him feeling like I was going to pass out from the passion he was sending through my veins. His hands were more manly then I had ever experianced, so strong yet so gentle . He knew what to do without a doubt, I could tell right then I was with an incrediably experianced man, this unbelievable man that was able to make me have multiple orgasms without trying and almost immediately once he started kissing me.

I felt as though my body was floating, somewhere I had never been, but yet seemed so familiar. My body trembled, fading into the night like it was only a dream.

He was everything I had ever imagined. He was reading my mind, and now I was hooked.

He knew how to take his time, knowing his touch would send my body convulsing. It was almost as though he knew right from that moment exactly what I had been envisioning all my life.

After that night with him I couldn't believe I met my match, he was the perfect fit and as we laid on the livingroom floor I told him he just made me a woman; and he did, his woman.

PART 10 CONNECTING

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OUR LAST GOODBYE PART 8

2006-02-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

The only way to allow Lucifer into your soul is by will, you must be willing to allow his behaviours to be accepted by your words. It's a power used within your mind even if you think or know it's wrong in your heart. He will use your strongest weakness against you to condone his agenda of small amounts of torture on your life He will play over and over on your weakness to strengthen his grip.

The next day I went in and found out I was working in an office adjacent to Damians that had a mirror that would slide open so you could see into his office and he into mine.I was so excited when I was moved there and the first time and everytime after that he would slide open that window to hand me something, I would gaze into his eyes and listen to his deep sexy voice, melting, feeling like I was going to burst out of my clothes. Still I knew I couldn't approach him. I didn't know why as I never came across this fear before.

A couple of months later I found out Damian was leaving this job to start another one. My heart sank. He was still dating this woman at work and I couldn't bring myself to come completely out and tell him how I felt, although some how I knew he did. He knew he was drawing me closer but still kept a certain amount of distance, but his eyes were telling me different, embedding into my soul.

Our co workers gave him a going away party. We all sat at a long table sitting almost across from him, but the woman that had her hooks into him was sitting right beside him, so it was almost impossible to talk to him. Oh how I wanted to get him alone, knowing he lived by himself. I wanted nothing more then to go home with him that night. I would dance, catching his eye. I wanted so much to gesture him my way as he would walk past, stopping, looking at me. I would look away from him, not letting him see him watching me. Iclosed my eyes, feeling him behind me but not touching me. I started to feel myself float, feeling his teeth on my neck, feeling an animal hunger stirring inside him. As I opened my eyes again, I realized he had not moved.

Throughout the night, I felt this was my last chance, I needed to send him a hint and and not let his girlfriend know it was me. I went up to the bar and ordered a shooter. The shooter was an "orgasm". When it came to the table, no one knew who it was from.

I saw him starting to scan the room to see who might have sent it and as he looked into my eyes, he knew it was me. He let out a grin as his eyes pierced into mine, making me melt.

As I watched him get up to leave I saw he wasn't leaving alone. She wouldn't leave his side for a minute. He knew I saw him watching me, he knew the time was getting near. I went home alone that night, something I never did before.

PART 9 MEETING MY MATCH (ADULT CONTENT)

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ANOTHER TURN OF DESTINY PART 7

2006-02-05T04:00:00.000-08:00

"..

"It is in our dreams, we are guided".

It was a new job I started where I met Damian and as I shook his hand I saw a vision of us spending our life together. At that moment I fell in love with him like no other, but he was married and so I stayed away. I went on with my daily life but this time I felt something else stirring inside of me. I started to change, little by little over the course of the months. I ended up cheating on my long term relationship I was in , with someone at work.

I don't ever really know what attracted me to this person, my eyes were on Damian, but he felt so out of reach. I just knew I needed to seperate myself from my past.

After a few months working, I found out he was seperating from his wife, I thought this was my chance but another woman at work had her hooks into him. The same woman that I had an uneasy feeling about when we first met. I continued to admire him from afar wanting and thinking of him, but still to nervous to approach him, something I had never been afraid of before. There was something completely different about this man. He was so handsome, rugged looking, very manly. Not a man that would look like someone groomed for G.Q. but a small town kind of guy.

Gorgeous eyes that was filled with lust everytime you would look at him and lips every woman wanted to kiss. I would hear many women around me talk about him; craving to be with him, whether they were married or not.

I wouldn't say much as I didn't want anyone to know how I felt, I knew they would tell him. Up until this point I never seemed to care if other women around me knew I liked someone, and if I liked someone, I wasn't shy. My female co workers, although liked me, seemed to always be watching me. I knew they were protecting his girlfriend they worked with for so long.

They saw how I would look at him but because I was dating someone at work and was very subtle when I did approached him, they could never gossip about what I felt . But they knew; they saw the couple of times I did, my brain became mush.

As he was standing beside me one day and I could smell his cologne, smelling so good, drawing me closer and closer to him. I could barely control what was going on inside of me. I thought for sure he knew and saw me quiver. I asked him what cologne he was wearing and when he told me and asked why, I was so stupid to say I wanted to buy some for my boyfriend. He gave me a grin I'll never forget and walked away. My heart stopped, I never in my life had been so stumped and so shy to a man. I kicked myself after that day for saying that.

My office was surrounded by windows and looked over one part of the business. Just out of my site was Damian's office. I would only see him if he was walking around in my view or if I had to leave my office. We barely spoke, I was still to afraid to approach him, although somewhere I knew he was watching, I felt a presense upon me.

Occassionally he would come up to the office, and just sit looking out the window . I would sit at my desk afraid to look at him for to long. I would see him wanting me to look up into his eyes, I would look up at him, smiling, my heart pounding, but could never hold contact. As he would leave he would gaze into my eyes, I felt an energy I couldn't explain. I would hold my breath until he left, as my breath came back, I would let out a moan.

At that time the economy started slowing down and four months after getting the job I was laid off. My boss told me if any other openings come up I will be called but he didn't know when.

I was so depressed, I left that job thinking I would never see Damian again. I felt lost. I made plans to move to another city farther away then I had ever been from home. I spent a month planning this move, going ahead of time and setting myself up with a job and an apartment. I went back home and started packing for my new life.

The day I was leaving I sat in my room looking around at all my packed luggage. I sat on the floor and couldn't shake the feeling that this was not where I was supposed to be going. I had an overwhelming feeling to stay where I was and not leave.

My father opened my bedroom door to tell me it was time to go, as I held the bus ticket in my hand. I looked at my father and told him I didn't want to go, I had changed my mind. They were used to this with me, as I would many times switch directions in my life without rythme or reason. My parents were upset, they were afraid that I had no direction and now again no job in my life, but I knew I had to stay. A feeling just as strong as it was when I turned down my dream job.

As I laid in bed that night, drifting into sleep, I had a dream. I dreamt of a stranger looking over my shoulder. I felt afraid to turn around yet I couldn't stop myself. As I turned I saw glowing eyes, I heard a whisper of my name and at that moment I knew who it was, quivering, throughout my body.

At that moment I awoke to the phone ringing, it was my boss. I felt I was dreaming again when he told me there was another job opening and wanted to know if I was interested. My eyes opened wide as I jumped out of bed realizing it wasn't a dream, knowing I was going to see Damian again.

PART 8 OUR LAST GOODBYE

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THE FIRST MEETING PART 6

2006-02-05T02:00:00.000-08:00

The old saying "three strikes and your out" doesn't seem to far from life's....

The deal I made many years ago to find eternal love was not the first deal I made in my lifetime. I had forgot over the years until the other night when I regressed back. This happened during sex with Damian and in the past few years I've been able to bring out the demon himself during our sex, feeling him, hearing him. I was acceptable to it, but that was part of the manipulation process, for me to have him expose himself during his most vulnerable moments.

The first deal I remember making was as a young awkward teenager, always been teased and feeling inadequate and lonely. I made a deal to make me beautiful to have men always wanting me. After that day I started developing as I was a late bloomer which added to my awkwardness and insecurities. I began developing many curves, a perfect behind and legs. My freckles I had that surrounded my face started to fade and I had an enormous amount of sex appeal. It was shortly after that I had men craving me, always wanting me, everyman I came across would want so bad to have sex with me, even if I hadn't spoke to them, strangers would come up to me telling me how beautiful I was and there was something about me besides my beauty that drew them to me.

I was a seductress.

I would never be brazen; I did and have always kept a very innocent look to me. I would be shy but aggressive with my eyes at the same time. I was coy with men and always told my smile would make them melt. There were men I had to turn down as I could tell the lust they felt for me would turn into compulsion, if I spotted that I would not pursue a sexual encounter. Many times, however, those men would become my protectors, wherever I went, making sure no harm came to me whether I was in my drunken stupors or out seeking my desires.

I would never keep the same friends, as I was a drifter and moved around from city to city and job to job very frequently at a very early age.

Shortly before making the second deal to find eternal love, I found a job that was perfect for me, away from the industry of night time work, alcohol surrounding me which made it easy for me to pick up men. It was a job that could have been a career and a very properous one. I was to make excellent money with a great job title and right up my area to use my creative thinking. I know if following that path I would have had the career I was destined to have. I was so excited about this new job. The day before I was to start was when I struck a deal.

As I woke up the morning I was to start my first day, something felt different, an uncertainty about it. I wasn't nervous about it being a new job since I would switch jobs every few months, but I wrote it off to that anyway and got dressed. I hopped on the bus and arrived a half hour early to work. I sat in a coffee shop next door, just sitting there drinking my coffee and having this overwhelming feeling to go home, this isn't where I'm supposed to be. I pulled out some change went to the payphone and called my soon to be employer.

I don't know what changed my mind but when I told my employer I was not be accepting this position and thanked them for the opportunity he tried to pursway me as he felt I was perfect for this job and to please reconsider. A part of me wanted to but this force of telling me to go home was overpowering.

As I came through the door of my house my mother was home. She questioned why I wasn't at work and I told her I decided not to take the job. She was very angry and told me I would never find another job like that and I ruined my opportunity for a better life. I told her I would find a job that day which she didn't believe I could. I grabbed the paper and as I opened it to the classifieds a huge ad stuck in my face. It was a job in walking distance of where I lived. I didn't hold much experience in that industry or never did that particular job before but I phoned and got an interview for that day.

My mother told me they would never hire me, that I was crazy. As I walked into the office of the interviewer he looked at me and let out a huge grin. I could tell by his reception I had a good chance of employment. He spent a half hour talking with me, going over my previous jobs and then said you're hired. I was to start the following day.

The next day I went in and was introduced to my supervisor. He then started taking me around to meet the employees one by one. There are two that day that stuck out in my mind that I met. The first one was a woman, there was something as soon as we met that caused tension between us. I couldn't figure this out as I was a very likeable person and I didn't find to much tension with people around me. I knew her and I, right from that meeting, were going to run into problems with each other. I shook it off and continued to meet the rest of the employees.

One of the last people I met was a man named Damian.As soon as I looked into his eyes and shook his hand I was hooked to him. There was something about him I couldn't explain that drew such power to him and I felt myself melt. He shook my hand and at that instance I had a vision, a vision so quick but detailed. The vision was of the two of us being married. I had never experienced a vision like that before, I fell in love with him right there without even knowing him or who he was, just his name and job title.

With all the men in my life I had come across I never met one that I was so drawn to, I would think of him all the time. I did find out the day I started he was married and although I didn't have many morals regarding my body and behaviours I would never pursue a married man at that point in my life, but I couldn't get my mind or eyes off him. If I had to speak to him at work my mind would become mush and stupid things would come out of my mouth. I was smitten.

The other problem was the woman who I met earlier, was actually the woman Damian was having an affair with. It didn't matter to either of them he was married and that she had been living with her boyfriend for many years.

A couple of months after working, Damian got separated from his wife. I would have pursued him then but I heard of the hooks his girlfriend had in him, they were inseparable.. Even with this I couldn't keep my mind off him, it was unlike anything I experienced in my life. He would just look at me and I would gaze at him, his eyes were dark and lustful. He was mysterious never saying much. When I was around him I would quiver and stumble my words. I knew somewhere deep inside of me that I would be his forever even though it seemed unlikely to anyone at that time, even to me.

PART 7 ANOTHER TURN OF DESTINY.....

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MAKING THE DEAL PART 5

2006-02-04T07:00:00.001-08:00

Although men satisfied me in many ways, my on going sexual desires were to much. I could never stay around long enough to continue an ongoing relationship. Men just couldn't handle the amount of sexuality I had. I didn't want to stop ever until I had an explosion.

I always enjoyed to satisfy a man, in the way that made them feel explosive, I received pleasure to feel that but I also wanted a man to give me that kind of orgasm without me having to be the one to do it myself. That made me to feel always domineering , but no man ever seemed to mind, they actually preferred it. The men that would try to make me submissive and control me could not submit to my wild ever changing ways, until Damian came along. I became submissive the day I met him and between that day and our first date, 7 months later, I slept only with two other. One man was a close relationship I had been in, for couple of years, but it was the beginning of the end and then a brief one in between him and Damian.

In my longer relationship I had, he did try to keep me under control, but my other side, my demon side, the side that held all the erotica and rage was always to much. I believed no man could ever keep me controlled. At that time I still hadn't understood why i did what i did,the side no one liked to see that was instilled in me at such a young age. Only one man, when it was time, would control that and everything else about me.

Near the end of my relationship with my previous boyfriend things started turning bad . I was so depressed feeling like no one could understand or love me. It was time to collect on the deal I had made earlier in my life. It was time for the second deal to be made.

I laid in my bed one Sunday afternoon crying uncontrollably, I couldn't take the despair I continued to feel though out my life, the emptiness and lonliness that surrounded my heart. I then said the words that no person should say, no person that holds a will to God to trust him that things will get better, something I truly believed all my life. I forgot about my earlier years and what I had said, but in my time of distress I turned to strike another deal, but that deal wasn't with God, it was a deal that I would have to hold to for the rest of my life and live with the conseqences of it. I wanted to find someone who would give me eternal love, someone I could be faithful to forever.

I cried myself to sleep after saying those words and when I awoke I forgot what I had said, as I did before. I didn't realize from that day on my life started playing out in a different way, I again was about to get what I asked for and now looking back on all the events leading up to that day, it was known before I had even done it that I would turn to the wrong spirit as he was collecting on the first deal.

I've since come to realize my angels have been fighting, to make me understand my destiny.

PART 6 THE FIRST MEETING

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MY SEXUAL JOURNEY INTO ADULT HOOD PART 4

2006-02-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

dedicated to the souls who who protected me

I came from a life of constant sex, always wanting it, always getting it. I was very wild in my ways during my teenage years once I discovered it, then never letting up on it. No man could keep me tame and many would try. Many would see the loving side of me with such erotic passion, but knew that it was uncontrolable. The men who succeeded for short times could not trust my sexual needs as they could see, sex was my passion and my power.

I was shy, yet friendly, sweet, but scary, innocent yet wild. Men or women never had a reason to dislike me unless I gave them one and even then I would never gain many enemies. I was easygoing and fun to be around but never wanting to be the centre of attention, wanting more to stay in the shawdows, more discreet. They loved the innocense of my face and smile, coy but seductive. Someone you would bring home to your parents but afraid to have your friends alone with.

I loved dancing and learned the many ways of seduction through dance. When I would go to clubs I would often go with a group of male friends. They would always love to watch everything I did, they would also protect me if need be.

I couldn't help my sexual desires seeing strangers looking at me with lust . I would watch them looking at me, wanting me, as I would walk up to the bar alone, not knowing what my eyes were really saying. I would talk to many, but I wondered around, many times keeping to myself. I was searching for someone with that certain look in his eye, an unexplainable look, and when I thought I found it I would starting flirting only with my eyes and my body, never saying a word. Watching until the sexual tension between us was overwhelming, ignoring any other eyes I may have seen during the night. They would watch me dance , knowing the moves I make are screaming for so much more.

As I kept hold of our eye contact and I could see them looking at my lips, with a coy smile I would whisper in the ear to a friend who enjoyed watching me. Gesturing a movement towards the crowd I would slowly start walking, as I would keep glancing, looking in an innocent playful way.

As I would lean seductively against a rail, watching from the corner of my eye I would see him approaching me from behind . Still not sure of my intentions, he would whisper in my ear, I was his fantasy and how much he has been craving me all night. They never realized how much of a fantasy I could be.

As I turned my head slightly giving him a smile, I would slowly start rubbing myself against him to the beat of the music, feeling the lust they had. I could feel their hands slowly starting to caress my thighs, hearing thier soft moans as they slid their hands higher up my skirt. At that moment they realized what I was suggesting to do. They felt shock and excitement, but couldn't resist the temptation. I would read their mind and body, moving my body to the rythme of the music, slowly drawing them closer and closer to orgasm. Teasing them until I was ready to climax, then clutching down and making them explode before they even knew what happened.

As I would turn around they would stare at me and told me they only thought that happened in dreams. I would give them a smile and walk away, Sometimes never to see them again. They would want to know who I was and my number but I would again, only smile, knowing I still hadn't found the eyes I was looking for.

PART 5 MAKING THE DEAL

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INNOCENCE VS DECEPTION PART 3

2006-02-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

As a young girl I was a shy and timid person. I started menstrating later then most girls my age, a late bloomer with everything. I was always teased because of the way I looked, never retaliating, just walk away holding back the tears.
I felt such an inner ugliness and worthlessness as a young child. I did have many friends however, but at times it would be them teasing me as well as my siblings. They knew they could because they were right. It wasn't the kind of obsene teasing that may happen now. These were names targeted at the way I looked that couldn't be changed. Although I was happy on the outside, my inner soul ached with lonliness.

Adults would always say how sweet I was, they saw my inner beauty come out. They would tell me my eyes were angelic and had such a sweetness, they would tell me there was something special about me, something that just shone through.

Those angelic eyes started to change. My weakness for insecurities as a teenager was strong, as I said those words. The words that changed the way people saw me both inside and out. Those words I thought at such a young age were only a wish.

My mother always said "watch what you wish for". I now think we should tell people to watch how you wish for; as your wish should always be your faith.

At this age, it's easy for the demons to overpower as we lack the experience to know the difference. only the person being controlled by these demons can overcome them, but they must try to understand it, trust thier faith in God and fight back.

I would never believe we are put here to kill people, including ourselves, we may think are demons, that would be the demon themselves winning your soul by decieving you that murder is Gods will. My belief is it is not the human encasing that is the demon ,as God gave us our body as a gift and to respect ours and everyone elses. It's the demon's inside we must fight that we allow in.

We can defeat these demons, only if we accept the consequences, and always believe the faith that God will carry you and make your soul stronger, it is then we have won our battle for our soul.

They are always out there lerking, waiting to get back in through those weaknesses and fears we hold. It is used against us when the demon strikes. It is then that your destiny is set and the fight for your soul begins.

INTO ADULTHOOD (CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT)

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THE BEGINNING PART 2

2006-02-03T07:41:00.000-08:00

As Eve bit the apple, the knowledge flowed into her thoughts. Understanding now, deception.

Many powers within, both good and evil.

They battle to take you, intervening, hoping you will understand, but the road of evil tempts us everyday.

We are all given the power of seduction, but it's what we do with that seduction that distinguses us.

Everything around is temptation when it gives your human body gratification, but the evil temptations, will cause a ripple of pain, like a pebble thrown into the water. It starts in and spreads out and from there causes our inner pain of weakness and vulnerbilities. Starting as a child, the innocent, the ones with the least experience of the power of knowledge.

We are given the instinct to remember lessons learned with the angels guiding us until we reach the age where it's time for choice. Choices we make on what was taught. From there we are guided from our inner strengths and wisdom we learn along the way. If wisdom is lost you feel the karma come back in a circle and try to teach a lesson once again, hoping you will come to realize your own humilities.

If you can't control the evil throughout your soul , you may be decieved in believing your inner strengths are your weaknesses and your outer strengths are your power.

PART 3- INNOCENCE VS. DECEPTION

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A POWER BEYOND OUR CONTROL--PART 1

2006-02-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

The human soul is a very delicate but powerful thing. It's all our good and evil, faith and fears, pleasures and pains, joys and sorrows, life and death all trying to make sense out of life and our reason for existance.

At birth we're destined for two paths; it's up to us to make the decision on what path we want to take. The wrong path can lead to destruction but there is always a way out if your soul is strong enough to seek, find and change it.

It’s not until we stop to understand why we are who we are, to find our weakness and make it our strength. To not allow the demons into our soul. To not allow our most vulernable moments to strike a deal. A deal sometimes for things so simple in life.

I have many sides to me, to know me would be to tell me there is never a dull moment. I've been often compared to as a chamelion, not only changing often in looks but personality too. People see five distinct personalities, the nurturer, the warrior, the spiritual, the erotic and then there is the demon side. The side only the closest to me see and are terribly frightened of.

The reason for my behavioural changes was diagnosed as mood disorder of manic depression. The changes that occured shortly after I decided my destiny, on a lonely night of vulnerablity.

Throughout my life my diagnosis was always the reason for my behaviours in everyone elses eyes, no one knew the two decisions I made in the quiet of the night. They never knew my life started changing in the direction that I asked for, shortly after I gave up the most precious thing we have as humans. At the time I was caught up in the life I had given for. I didn't understand where my true strengths lay and where my destiny was headed.

My family, although had religious beliefs, they were never spoken of. I never complained as a child about attending church, I even enjoyed it as much as a child can understand. We never spoke of sprituality in our house, something I believe is very much different then just holding religious beliefs of organized religion. I always felt spirtuality thoughtout me. I couldn't express it as a child, but I never felt alone. I always felt a presence around me, a good presence. I would, however, be frightened of the evil presence I would feel around me also. I could feel them in the shawdows, lerking, waiting patiently, until the day when my life would change, as though I became a completely different person, someone no one recognized.

" I was told I had a frightening look about me; an uncontrollable anger. It was like, I had the devil in me".

AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

Part 2 THE BEGINNING

Back to INDEX

Exit to BACK COVER

Online College Degree

PROLOG

2006-02-02T22:00:00.000-08:00

dedicated to the souls who gave me knowledge

LIKE A DREAM PLAYING IN MY HEAD I START TO WRITE,

NOT STOPPING;

LITTLE SLEEP.

I WAKE AND READ WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN, CHANGING SOME WORDING AS MY THOUGHTS RACE FAST, WRITING BASED ON MY NEED OF DEALING WITH DEMONS WITHIN MY LIFE,

IT IS ONLY YOU THAT CAN RECOUNT YOUR STEPS OF WHAT YOU HAVE LIVED,

IT IS ONLY YOU THAT HAS CHOOSEN YOUR DESTINY,

IT IS ONLY YOU THAT KNOWS THE SOULS YOU HAVE TOUCHED,

IT IS ONLY YOU THAT CAN ASK FOR REDEMPTION,

IT IS ONLY YOU THAT CAN DECIDE THE PATH OF ETERNAL LIFE

NO TWO LIVES ARE THE SAME,

YOU MUST LOOK WITHIN YOURSELF TO FIND THE ANSWER

PART 1-

UNTITLED

2006-02-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

I think right now I need time to be alone. I feel a distance from you I can’t explain. You might be here in my presence as your voice is in my ear, but your eyes and thoughts are fading elsewhere.
I spoke words to you and did not yell or bark but spoke about lies and deception and that every choice you make may change the path you follow. Sometimes souls have to give up the most precious things in their lives to find peace, no matter what the pain is.

If I feel I’m being deceived or humiliated, the forgiveness is harder to find, the torment becomes to great

If I feel I’m being respected with honesty of the truths behind the lies, the forgiveness is easy to bare, and true happiness is found.

We all must listen to our inner visions of fear, it is the guide in a flash of what might become, but only you can deceiver it.

BACK TO INDEX....http://wetnwild55.blogspot.com/2006/04/index.html

CONNECTING ---PART 10

2006-01-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

As I travel through life, I begin to notice lifes way of irony's happening in front of my eyes. The will of the outer world connecting, whispering in my ear.

We travel through life in a pace we create, forgetting to look at lifes coincidence.

I turned on the radio a song plays, a song not heard often as the quiet that surrounds me is calming.

Immediately my mind remembers a movie, the movie I see flash through my eyes, "The Stand".

At this moment I begin to understand the meaning of both; sounding in my ears and flashing through my eyes.

I search for the song, I play it again and again, hear the words I never knew.

The dogs bark wildly.

A feeling surrounds me.
A feeling, I'm not alone.

part 11...."DON'T FEAR THE REAPER"

"DON'T FEAR THE REAPER" PART 11

2006-01-07T11:00:00.000-08:00

BLUE OYSTER CULT LYRICS TO:

"DON'T FEAR THE REAPER"

All our times have come

Here but now they're gone

Seasons don't fear the reaper

Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain..we can be like they are

Come on baby...don't fear the reaper

Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper

We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper

Baby I'm your man...

Valentine is done

Here but now they're gone

Romeo and Juliet

Are together in eternity...Romeo and Juliet

40,000 men and women everyday...Like Romeo and Juliet

40,000 men and women everyday...Redefine happiness

Another 40,000 coming everyday...We can be like they are

Come on baby...don't fear the reaper

Baby take my hand...don't fear the reaper

We'll be able to fly...don't fear the reaper

Baby I'm your man...

Love of two is one

Here but now they're gone

Came the last night of sadness

And it was clear she couldn't go on

Then the door was open and the wind appeared

The candles blew then disappeared

The curtains flew then he appeared...saying don't be afraid

Come on baby...and she had no fear

And she ran to him...then they started to fly

They looked backward and said goodby...

she had become like they are

She had taken his hand...she had become like they are

Come on baby...don't fear the reaper

EXIT TO BACK COVER TO ENTER THE BEGINNING OF "A POWER FROM BEYOND" and watch the music picture storybook...IN THE SPACE OF "CONFESSIONS OF THE SOUL"....WATCH AND FOLLOW HOW MY LIFE KARMA CIRLCES AROUND ME.....AND BACK AGAIN