A POWER BEYOND OUR CONTROL--PART 1

The human soul is a very delicate but powerful thing. It's all our good and evil, faith and fears, pleasures and pains, joys and sorrows, life and death all trying to make sense out of life and our reason for existance.

At birth we're destined for two paths; it's up to us to make the decision on what path we want to take. The wrong path can lead to destruction but there is always a way out if your soul is strong enough to seek, find and change it.


It’s not until we stop to understand why we are who we are, to find our weakness and make it our strength. To not allow the demons into our soul. To not allow our most vulernable moments to strike a deal. A deal sometimes for things so simple in life.

I have many sides to me, to know me would be to tell me there is never a dull moment. I've been often compared to as a chamelion, not only changing often in looks but personality too. People see five distinct personalities, the nurturer, the warrior, the spiritual, the erotic and then there is the demon side. The side only the closest to me see and are terribly frightened of.

The reason for my behavioural changes was diagnosed as mood disorder of manic depression. The changes that occured shortly after I decided my destiny, on a lonely night of vulnerablity.

Throughout my life my diagnosis was always the reason for my behaviours in everyone elses eyes, no one knew the two decisions I made in the quiet of the night. They never knew my life started changing in the direction that I asked for, shortly after I gave up the most precious thing we have as humans. At the time I was caught up in the life I had given for. I didn't understand where my true strengths lay and where my destiny was headed.

My family, although had religious beliefs, they were never spoken of. I never complained as a child about attending church, I even enjoyed it as much as a child can understand. We never spoke of sprituality in our house, something I believe is very much different then just holding religious beliefs of organized religion. I always felt spirtuality thoughtout me. I couldn't express it as a child, but I never felt alone. I always felt a presence around me, a good presence. I would, however, be frightened of the evil presence I would feel around me also. I could feel them in the shawdows, lerking, waiting patiently, until the day when my life would change, as though I became a completely different person, someone no one recognized.

" I was told I had a frightening look about me; an uncontrollable anger. It was like, I had the devil in me".

AND LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION

Part 2 THE BEGINNING

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